Thursday, February 23, 2023

Cuddled

 

My baby cries,

hurt

or scared,

or just alone.

I cuddle, keep her warm, 

check what she needs.

I play, sing along to my favorite lullabies,

songs that lift and encourage and comfort,

and at last I realize

I have hidden hurts, fears,

sometimes just alone.

I need the cuddles, the warmth, the comfort.

I need her.

She needs me.

I need me.


Sunday, August 7, 2022

Raise up your Mourning: Thoughts from Job

 I enjoyed our Sunday School discussion on Job today, but I had way more thoughts than I could share. Here are a few scattered thoughts I wanted to write down.

1. First came from one of the hymns we sang today, "Bless Our Fast We Pray" (#138 Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1985). The second verse describes helping others, and then asks for a blessing in return. At first, this sounds almost entitled, or at least contrary to what we learn from Job, that we should expect something good for doing something good. But I'm reminded of a talk by President Bednar on tithing, where the blessings received are not always the same as the blessings expected:

"Some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle...We might want and expect a larger paycheck, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to change our own circumstances."

Can we expect to receive something good for doing something good? Yes, but it might not be the blessing you think you're going to get. Isaiah reminds us that the Lord's thoughts are higher and sometimes incomprehensible compared to ours.

2. The next thought came from our discussions about trials that come to us through no fault of our own. When my baby son passed away, Elder John H. Groberg spoke at the funeral. One of the things he said was that "it doesn't matter what happens to us in this life. What matters is how we react to it."

3. During the same experience, I wrote a poem about grief. I had an image in my head of a bulldog clinging to a pole in its teeth. Storms of grief and doubt batter its body, but those teeth are locked and it will not let go. That's how I feel about hope. It's not (always) about warm fluffies or an ideal future. It's the act of holding on to Truth no matter what happens around you.

4. I ended up reading two more hymns while listening to the lesson. The first was a song we sang in the previous meeting, How Gentle God's Commands (#138 Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1985). 

"Beneath his watchful eye, His Saints securely dwell. That hand which bears all nature up shall guard His children well."

The hymn pairs well with the language of Job. However, as I prepared to make a comment about the hymn to the rest of the class, my eye caught on the hymn on the previous page, Be Still My Soul (#137 Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1985). The second verse struck me as being essential to our topic, both in content and in the imagery. How important to hold onto that hope that we will at last understand all that's now mysterious!

"Be still, my soul. Thy God doth undertake to guide the future as he has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake. All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul! The waves and winds still know his voice who ruled them while He dwelt below."

5. No one has a monopoly on suffering. Even those who seem to live a perfect life or have no difficulties will be facing some kind of trial. I remember once when my family was struggling financially, we helped a friend who was homeless. Immediately, I went from feeling poor to feeling immeasurably wealthy. Truly, poor is a state of mind. Perhaps compared to our friend, we had a perfect life without difficulties, yet from our point of view, we still struggled.

When we think of trials and suffering, we might think of big, story-worthy events like death or divorce or job loss. But I think that the small, daily difficulties can add up to being far greater. I know a strong, loving couple who stick together through all kinds of difficulties, but they had a big fight about opening a new bottle of ketchup before the old one was empty. 

Over a year ago, I slipped on a book and dislocated my kneecap. The sharp, instant pain was overwhelming and left me screaming and writhing on the floor, but it only lasted a few minutes. The constant daily pain and limitations of my out-of-alignment, arthritic kneecap is not nearly as dramatic and doesn't have a funny, ironic story to go with it (come on, you have to admit that a writer losing a fight with a book is at least a little funny), but that constant semi-permanent difficulty adds up to a much bigger trial. 

I once read a question that was supposed to spark a moral debate: "Would you give up one day of life to save a child?" My answer was: "Only one day? Where do I sign up? I'm a mom. I give up pieces of my life every single day."

6. In our Sunday School class, we discussed how to help those who are grieving or otherwise going through difficult trials. I could write a whole new blogpost on this subject, but I will try to be brief. I originally wrote the poem about grief so that I could empathize with others in a similar situation. It starts, "I don't know how you feel. I have no words that will fix everything, but I can tell you how I feel."

At the start of this topic, our teacher told us that after his wife speaks, he often asks if she wants advice or just wants him to listen. His natural inclination is to offer advice and try to fix her problems, but that isn't always the best response.

Another sister suggested that the first step is to be humble and ask yourself if you are answering for them, or for you. Often, giving advice has a root in pride, when you think you can solve everything with your superior thoughts and words. 

I then suggested that the second step is to listen to both the person who is grieving, and the Spirit. I once approached a grieving sister, thinking about things that had helped me. My mother told me that sometimes the people who came to comfort her seemed to expect her to be constantly sorrowing, and my mother ended up laughing when they left. They seemed to be seeking comfort for themselves more than her. I was prepared to laugh about this story with my grieving friend, but as I interacted with her, I quickly realized that this was not the response she needed. She really was seeking comfort and needed quiet support and understanding, so I tried to provide that instead.

Listening to the Spirit is important because the person you are trying to help might not know what they need. After my son passed away, many family members hurried to our house. Some of them mourned with us, and we needed that. Others brought normalcy. They got me out of my grief and into the kitchen to help make lunch for everyone. It was not the comfort I expected, but it turned out to be what I needed. Sometimes we need to mourn with people, and sometimes we need to comfort them, and it takes good listening to tell the difference.

Most of the members of my church studied the book of Job last week. I would love to know what you took out of the lesson.


Sunday, May 29, 2022

Let People Change

 Rahab is one of my favorite characters from the Bible. She saved two Israelite spies from certain death. She bore her testimony of a God and a religion she had never been taught. She saved her extended family from a war that wiped out the rest of her city. She married an Israelite prince, raised the Bible hero Boaz, and became an ancestor of Jesus Christ himself.

And yet, just about everywhere that she's mentioned, she's labeled Rahab the harlot.

Change is one of the defining characteristics of mortality. To change is the meaning of repentance, which means that change is a core doctrine of Christianity. Yet somehow, we struggle to accept that people can and do change constantly. 

If I say "Scrooge", you think "bah humbug", even though the man at the end of The Christmas Carol is a completely different person than the Ebenezer Scrooge at the beginning of the book. All of the Disney merch for Encanto shows the character Isabel as the controlled perfectionist from the beginning of the movie. I'd be the first one in line if they released merch of her in her dyed dress from the end, after she embraced her "imperfections". Several times in Harry Potter, Harry rebuffs the argument that his flawed former heroes were young by pointing out that they were his age. I always want to stop reading and tell him that it's not the age, it's that they've had a long time to change.

There's a lot that can be said about the importance of setting healthy boundaries and protecting yourself from other people. I don't want to diminish that. But I hope that we leave room in our hearts and our minds to allow others--and ourselves!--to change.



Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Poem: Receive

 Gail Carson Levine challenged her blog readers to write a free verse poem about their horoscope for the day. Here's my offering:

It's not popular anymore to accept advice,
like it's a weakness,
like the offeror must be overbearing, out of touch, offensive.
Even after asking, I have to take a breath,
open my mind,
sift through their words and translate them into my voice.
Help comes,
financial, practical, emotional,
even intuition, maybe.
Complexities become clear
if I am willing to receive. 

Friday, July 16, 2021

Our audiobook story, so far

My first audiobook is coming out soon! I've had people ask about the process, so here's a quick sum up about our journey so far:

I decided to try making an audiobook for my standalone book, Mira's Griffin. I figured I would test the waters, if you will, with a standalone before I committed to a whole series.

First, I used acx, which is amazon's audiobook branch. I chose a sample from my book that included dialogue from most of my characters, especially the ones with accents and that needed special effects (mind-to-mind speech, in this case). I put it up for audition. ACX asked me to provide the age, gender, accent, and style of the narration I'd like, and showed my book to those. Two people auditioned within the first week or so. I chose the best one, Talon David, and we exchanged some messages, making sure that we got along and could work well together, before I made it official. 

I chose royalty share for our payment option, which means that the royalties we earn are split 50/50 between the two of us. You can pay a narrator outright, but it will cost many hundreds of dollars, so you'll have to be certain that you can sell enough books to cover the cost. And, of course, you can do it yourself, if you have the equipment and are willing to learn how.

I, as the author, was in charge of setting a date. I looked at my publishing schedule and sent Talon a large range, asking when she thought would be best (communication with your narrator is super important). She told me how long she thought it would take, I added on a couple weeks just in case, and we were ready to go. I sent her a pronunciation guide for some of the words and names unique to my fantasy world. 

While she was recording, I did the cover. I made my own cover for Mira's Griffin, so it was pretty easy to adapt it to audiobook. The cover for audiobooks needs to be a perfect square, and they require that the bottom right corner be left without important information in case they want to stick promotional information there. 



After she submitted, I listened to the whole thing and wrote down a few things that needed to be changed, and sent it back. It's really cool to hear the story come together--and it's also important to remember that it's not going to sound exactly like me, and that's okay.

I put my book up for audition on May 3, 2021, and right now it's being reviewed by acx. It should be available for purchase sometime near the end of the month, so all in all, it took about 3 months. It's been a great experience so far. We'll see how it goes!

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Plot Structure Systems

 



When I first started learning about story structure, I first adopted the model made by Christopher Booker in "Seven Basic Plots" (a fascinating but extremely lengthy read). Once I started looking at other plotting systems, I noticed a lot of similarities. It bugged me at first, because I'd already learned one set of terminology and didn't want to learn another. But if you look at it, the systems are all very similar to one another. 

Most of these plots have, at their base, the seven-point story structure. These are the bare bones that make a story work, and a huge variety of authors use it. 

KM Weiland adds details about the key event and inciting incident. She has a ton more interesting information on her website, from how to integrate a character arc into this system, to how Marvel movies use (or don't use) structure in their movies, to archetypal character arcs based on a human's life cycle. It's all fascinating stuff!

I wanted to break down story structure further, so I took the typical three-act story and broke each act into parts. This takes a long novel and breaks it up into manageable pieces. With the overall picture managed by this outline, my creative mind has more space to work on emotion, theme, growth, detail, and other aspects of writing.

Save the Cat uses different terminology, but still, many of the points line up. It was originally designed for screenwriters but adapted to novels. Save the Cat has more specific story advice and details than the other methods.

Seven Basic Plots divides all stories into seven different categories. These are plots, not genres, and different examples of these can be found in most traditional genres. All seven plots follow a basic pattern.

The Hero's Journey is much older than these methods but is still in use today. It follows a specific type of story, one that is often used today.

There is more information out there to dive into. This blog gives an excellent rundown of several different methods of organization.

Feel free to compare the information and make your own guidelines--or simply wing it. Have fun!

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Story Structure for kids (and other beginners)

I've been writing stories since I was a young child, yet I didn't publish my first story until I was 28. That's about twenty years of practice before my stories were ready. I learned by trial and error and developed skills slowly over time. 

The biggest issue with my early stories was that they had no structure. I just wrote whatever came to mind. After a lot of practice, I finally developed a feel for how stories needed to progress. I only discovered story structure after I had written my first book, The Spectra Unearthed, yet that one does fit the beats of a structured story. 

Note: The color coding matches up to my system, which I will discuss later. Note that I have three shades of blue in the middle when I should have only two.

Again, it took me twenty years to get to that point, and about four years of working on that one book. Some authors still write by instinct, and their stories still end up having structure even if they don't do it deliberately. Personally, I find that story structure lets me write faster, and my stories turn out better.

 Nine steps for a simple story

Today I gave my kids a nine-step formula for writing a structured story. I had them write down one sentence per step. When I write, I use a similar formula, though for me, one step equals about three chapters.

1. Who and what is your character? What do they want? Why are they interesting?
2. What will happen to your character? (passive) 3. How does your character choose to change? (active) They choose to interact with step #2. 4. Who or what is stopping your main character? 5. What does your character learn about themselves and the world? 6. What can your character lose? What will happen if they don't win? 7. What goes wrong? 8. What happens when your character faces what's stopping them in step 5? 9. How has your character changed?

Half steps for a more advanced story

For more advanced writers, you might want to add half-steps in between some of these major beats:

2.5: What was your character's life like before the story? 3.5: What is your character's new life like now that they have chosen to change? 4.5: How does your character react to their troubles? 5.5: How does your character prepare to face their troubles? 6.5: What convinces your character to keep trying? 7.5: What hidden strengths can your character draw on to rise above everything that went wrong?

Next, my kids and I looked at KM Weiland's Story Structure database to learn how stories that we already know and love fit our model. We used Harry Potter 1. I've also used the movies Frozen and Aladdin.

(More advanced) My structure system

I used my own story structure system to come up with those nine steps. Many different authors have come up with different story structure systems. They all have similarities, but some of them use different labels for the same point. I started using KM Weiland's model, but soon adapted it for myself. 

Here's a quick overview of my system:
I took the three acts and broke them into eight pieces. Each piece has a specific job and ends in a specific "beat" (which I defined in the steps above).

Look at how my "climax" beats align to the steps/questions from earlier:
1. Who and what is your character? What do they want? Why are they interesting? (Characteristic Moment/Hook)

2. What will happen to your character? (Key Event)
3. How does your character choose to change? They choose to interact with step #2. (First Plot Point)
4. Who or what is stopping your main character? (First Pinch Point)

5. What does your character learn about themselves and the world? (Midpoint)
6. What can your character lose? What will happen if they don't win? (Second Pinch Point)
7. What goes wrong? (Second Plot Point/Low Point)
8. What happens when your character faces what's stopping them in step 5? (Climax)
9. How has your character changed? (Resolution)

Story Structure in The Spectra Books

For my first few Keita's Wings books, I used story structure to turn a messy rough draft into a publishable story. Now I also use it to create an outline before I start writing. I update my outline as I go to help me keep track of where I am in the story and what I need to do next.

Here are some of the finished outlines for some of my books (some of them are cropped to remove spoilers).

Mira's Griffin:

These are color coded instead of labeled by section. Act 1 is yellow, Act 2.A-B are green, Act 2.C-D are blue, Act 3 is red, and I colored the resolution yellow as well.






I broke up each chapter into scenes for DreamRovers to help me keep track of the three point of views. 

Yes, I am a bit obsessed with spreadsheets.

Story structure is a huge topic and I hope this is useful. This is an amazing age when more information abounds if you wish to search for it. Have fun!